Tears of frustration

It is common tat everyone will face a time where their family's tearing apart and all we become better in the end
It is common tat everyone will face a huge finiacial problem but in the end manage to get want they desire.
and it is also common for mothers at their late forties to got through wad they call it as menopause.
Wad is not common here is to face all together in one shot.

Jus few hours ago, i was given 20ringgit. Dad was outstation working and mom's tired with all the chores. My siblings, cudn't care less.
With this 20ringgit, i would have bin at town attending a show with my fellow buddies, or jus outside with having a simple quiet dinner with the family.
Instead, sadly the 20ringgit was to buy ramli burger for the family as dinner.
It was pitifull, i couldn't stand it. I was desparatly finding someone or even something to take the blame but couldn't find any.
My frustration was reaching the max, i nid to smoke, i nid alchohol, i nid a form of releasing everything out. But too late, it has oledi transform into toxicating tears.

I've bin loosing my cover as well. Some oledi bin able see wads behind the mask of the insane Zephyd i put up. Though the mask of evil/insanity/sacarism do bring me some, well rather lots of laughs, there are times where i noe my limits and when to say no.

Say no? blardy hell i've bin saying lots of NOs. NO for going out shopping n stuffs. NO for clubbing or a late night drink. NO for a group lunch outside far away from college. NO for 3hours plus of cyber. The reason, i cant afford it.

I do appreciate those who are helpin me out. Specially those whom im loaning cash from.

This ain't some emo post again. Is just that oni blogs understand me best not daires lolx.